Saying goodbye is the hardest thing I could ever do in life, harder then grades, love, anything....
I said goodbye today to someone I held very dearly, no not my boyfriend you silly pricks, a friend of mine... or what I could say was a friend...
We had good times and bad times... just one day I got sick of the bad times... the lies... the false illusions... feeling like I was being used....
Sometimes you love someone so much.... you gotta let go... if you love something so much set it free.... in this case I loved... but not for the right reasons.. so I let go....
I got hell for it, I cried and shivered in a little ball and I cried, I never heard such spiteful things about me, I never heard such anger from someone I use to think was my best friend...
I mean, I understand why she did it, why she'd be upset... but just... so much anger... it was alot.... to me..
But it all made sense in the end.... it did.... and... while I'm hurt... badly... I'm not down... not at all...
I'm gonna keep smiling, I won't apologize for what I did... I'm just gonna keep smiling, look through the filth, find the gold and diamonds that sparkle like stars and make me smile...
I'll find my real friends, old and new, I'll find my real and true friends.....
I already know my boyfriend is a true friend and lover, because he's helped me so much through this.... he's really helped me...
I can never thank him enough for the things he did....
Meanwhile I hope the person who I said goodbye to... knows that I did love her... and still do, but this is for the best, and I have no regrets for what I did... she can call me stuck up... and a brat... she can call me the worse names, even punch me in the face and beat me down, I'd still smile I think... but I hope they know that even though she cursed me to have the worse life ever... that I would never wish something so vile like that... ever... to her... even after that....
Even my own boyfriend, who has also been brought down, wishes the same...
Ah well, I said my goodbyes, I left, and I can't nor do not want to go back...




