MyFursona.com

Aug 5, 2008 11:20pm

I've always wanted a zen garden. So when a friend of mine got one, I was completely envious and I was like "Man! I gotta rake the sand! That tiny little rake is awesome! I wanna make little patterns in the sand, and have magical hobbit Buddha sit in a bonsai tree!".

Little do I know that his zen garden was a nightmare from hell that only invokes rage. I started rakin' around the rocks and I kept cuttin' my fingers with the rake and I just got so worked up I wanted to break off Buddha's head by usin' the tiny tree as a bat and writing "Buddha hearts penis" in the sand.

But I avoided doin' so. But only because I didn't want to be banned from entering a monastery. It happened with me before with Olive Gardens, but never again!

Which...if you ever go to Olive Garden. Don't just walk in, sit down, eat a bunch of bread sticks and drink water before leaving. They do get upset. No one likes to have resources and time wasted.

Actually I have to take that last statement back. Because if that was true the movie Gummo wouldn't exist. Gummo has to be the most pointless move I've ever seen. Nothing really happens, you just see imaginary people, live imaginary lives with some of the worst dialogue written by someone proficient in English. Things that are barely related happen, the results produce nothing, and yet it continues on and on.

People say dirty words, strange things happen, destructive events occurs, glue gets abused, cats get drowned on screen, old women die, and no one simply cares. The ending to it? A kid in a bunny hood makes out with two chicks in a pool before holding a dead cat to your face on camera.

Arguably it's a decent movie for it's portrayal of poor white trash...but unless you were born in an Hollister and your parents are millionaire condo salesmen doctors with degrees in astro physics...you pretty much know how poor white trash is anyway.

In other words, Harmony Korine, I don't care if your wrote and directed Kids, I hope you die and burn in hell!